Lori is our model for our 2004 Merlot.

Life would change dramatically.

Lori had never had a mammogram. When she called her good friend and primary care physician in December of 2005, she knew that she already had a lump in her breast. Her mother and sister both had cystic breasts and ovaries. She was not aware of anyone in her family having breast cancer. Lori assumed that she too had a simple cyst.

She had researched cysts and cancer. She drank essiac tea, took iodine, stopped using caffeine, used progesterone oil, took vitamin C, drank kombucha, ate yoghurt with flax oil, and tried a host of remedies to deal with the lump. When the lump began to grow, Lori’s research uncovered startling news. Cysts do not get steadily bigger…..cancer does.

On a drive home, a few days after her biopsy, Lori’s physician friend called. Lori pulled over on the shoulder of the highway to take the call, expecting to hear a request for a simple appointment. Instead, what she heard was that she had breast cancer.

“I immediately felt a separation from myself,” says Lori. “I was not prepared to hear what my doctor had told me. I told myself that I needed to prepare for yet another biopsy on my other breast to be done the next day.”

That same evening, Lori told her boyfriend about the cancer. Upon doing so, she knew that her life had taken a turn and there was no going back. She decided to wait to tell her 3 children about her diagnosis, wanting to shield them from her pain, not taking away the innocence and freedom of their childhood

Lori went on to have a mastectomy. 20 lymph nodes were also removed. She endured the ravages of aggressive chemotherapy. It was the night before her chemo treatments began that she told her children of her cancer. She endured 8 weeks of radiation to her chest wall, under arm, and back ribs. Another surgery took her ovaries and fallopian tubes.

With great care, Lori chose her medical team. “My doctors were and have continued to be amazing people. I interviewed many for each position: surgeon, medical oncologist, radiation oncologist, plastic surgeon, and gynecological oncologist. I didn’t really understand the “chain of command”. Who led the team? My primary care physician took a back seat immediately. Each person I interviewed was compassionate and helpful in answering my questions. No one questioned that I needed to speak to as many professionals as possible. They treated me respectfully. The only negative experience was with an “alternative” practitioner’s office. They would not give me an appointment without a credit card number. Not one other doctor questioned my ability to pay before speaking to me. I was careful to call doctors on my plan, but they all treated me first and dealt with the payment/insurance on the sidelines.” In the case of a chemo drug that was considered “experimental”, Lori’s oncologist personally wrote to the insurance company and the drug company to be sure that the expense would be covered.

Support of family and friends was critical to Lori’s healing process. She had already seen the wide net of lives touched by breast cancer. “A very close friend of mine had been diagnosed with breast cancer a month before my diagnosis. Another friend was already fighting a reoccurrence after 8 years of clear scans. In my daughter’s 8th grade class, four of the mothers had battled cancer. A dear friend in Seattle had successfully fought cancer 8 years before (she unfortunately has recently been diagnosed with cancer “everywhere” and is in treatment). It felt like an epidemic. I initially didn’t worry about dying. I still don’t WORRY about dying. I do think about how my children would get along without me. I’ve contacted the people who would take care of my children in case of emergency. I wonder who would make sure that my children know they are loved unconditionally.”

Yet she persevered, finding inspiration in Lance Armstrong’s book and his website Livestrong.com. “My friends sent me books and cds regarding healing and positive thinking: Louise Hay and Caroline Myss were helpful. I bought books and borrowed Susan Love’s Breast Book. I read great books about herbal healing.

A very good friend recommended me for the Community Advisory board for the Breast Care Center in my area. Surprisingly, none of my doctors had told me about this amazing facility which offered a library, free integrative health and healing program and more. I joined the board and I began volunteering my time (during my treatment), making informational binders for newly diagnosed and helping to raise money for the center.”

From diagnosis to treatment to surgery to more treatment, Lori’s cancer battle was a series of stages. Overall, it was one big process. “There have been so many phases to this process. I decided to take back my body and win the day that I called and made an appointment to see my primary care physician.”

“I decided to ‘kick some ass’ the night before I started chemo. That was the night I told my children that I had cancer—I had kept it a secret from them for about 6 weeks.”

“I held my breath, like I do when I start down a really serious roller coaster ride, as I was being pushed on the gurney into the surgery room to have my breast removed.”

“And I knew I was going to win when I purchased tickets for Thanksgiving in Hawaii and bought my season pass to snowboard – all this while still in treatment, bald, and with radiation to go. “

“At the very beginning I felt like I was fighting an intruder – an alien growth in my body. Later, I came to a sense that the cancer came from me. I grew It. And I had to be stronger in the moment than I had been when I grew the cancer. I had to teach my body to identify the growth and stop the disease.”

“I knew that this was an opportunity for growth and I had been chosen for this task. On some level this was true. This experience was a gift. I never really understood “faith”, before. I have a hard time not knowing what’s going to happen next. Dropping into the deep unknown for me was skydiving without a parachute. Faith was the parachute.”

“I started praying/meditating for faith. ‘Please, please let me know that no matter what, it’ll be ok.’ No matter the outcome, I haven’t failed. At times, I felt so abandoned. One day I remembered that I really love owls. I find that which is secret and mysterious very attractive and interesting; the owl represents death and re-birth and the way of the mysterious. I decided I wanted to find an owl feather. I pondered this concept, but shelved it to the back of my mind as all things medical had my attention. A few weeks later, I was riding my bike home from a yoga/meditation class. As I pumped up a little hill a block from my house, a white feather floated out of the sky and I picked it out of the air, literally right in front of me. The timing of its float and my arrival was perfection. It had floated down from a local palm tree where two little owls were nesting.”

“In that moment, I knew that even though my life was challenging, I am not alone, I am heard, and I am loved. Not everything I ask for is the best thing for me. Faith helps me find the positive in everything. It will be ok.”

“When I come to the end of all the light that I know…and it’s time to step into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either I will be given something solid to stand on or I will be taught to fly.”

Everyday, Lori consciously works to fight her cancer. “I am still taking medication: Arimidex (aromatase inhibitor). I had my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed to put me into a state of permanent and complete post-menopause and to prevent ovarian cancer. I see an acupuncturist/Chinese medicine doctor and take Chinese herbs. I have a low tolerance for whining and bullshit. I have regular bone and ct scans at least 2 times a year. I still see my oncologist every few months. I had myself tested for genetic mutation (it was negative) – My sister wanted this information, so I did it mostly for her. It was a big out-of-pocket expense, but that’s what sisters do for sisters. I exercise and I practice raising the corners of the my lips gently upwards regularly.

I was taking yoga, but I tore my rotator cuff. Yoga is excellent for moving the energy. I make fun plans for the future and stay busy with my life and work and family. I knit and read and go to workshops. I’m enrolled in courses on spiritual development and archetypal patterns. I will soon be certified to read and counsel others on their archetypes. I snowboard with abandon. I practice meditation. I read runes. I read novels. I study Sufism and read Rumi. I regularly sweat and pray in a traditional Lakota Indian sweat lodge. I spend as much time with my children as I can and watch them grow with rapture. My life is worth living.”

About Lori Sacco

Lori Sacco is a native of Portland, OR. She has a degree in Architecture and worked for a large firm in NY for several years. She is divorced and has lived in CA since 1994 with her three children. Currently, she is a very successful Real Estate Broker in Sebastopol, CA.

“I know that many people have financial problems during cancer. I’d like to try and help find resources to assist women during their treatment; help them pay their bills so that they have one less thing to worry about when they’re sick.”